Stories

Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve springs and seventy palm trees, and they camped there near the water.

She enjoyed the nice clean room after the discomfort of the ashram. Too exhausted to sleep, she decided to take a bath. She took off her wrinkled, sweaty, second-day clothes and folded them carefully over the back of the chair. Her burning swollen feet met the cool white tiles of the floor. As she walked forward, her soles left moist footprints on her trail. So, if she got lost she could trace her way back easily.
The bathtub under her exhausted body felt cold and hard. When the water started running from the faucet she slipped forward, under the stream, sliding her legs up the blindingly white tiled wall.
Diana less the Elders.

Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the waters...
As a little girl she used to go to the neighborhood Catholic church to learn about God and his miracles. She liked miracles a lot. She wanted to believe in them. They made her feel safe.
The surging waters stood firm like a wall; the deep waters congealed in the heart of the sea.
She recited to herself. Lying in the brown porcelain tub with her legs up against the wall,she received the waterfall with pleasure.
The water element is best suited for movement and activity.
The Blah block is a result of depressing one’s feelings till they stagnate and cause an accumulation of body fluids. Its color is usually gray-blue. It feels sticky and heavy, like mucus. There is anger there too, usually the blaming kind. The person has given up and feels powerless. The afflicted area is the stomach and the abdomen. This area tends to be bloated.
Where did she read that?
Her stomach had been bothering her a lot lately. She thought it was the food, the spicy Indian food she wasn’t used to. Maybe it was anger, gray-blue anger, sticky and heavy anger, mucus-like anger.
The sensation of the running water hitting her body in a steady stream was pleasant. Yet she felt like crying. How can one feel pleasure and pain at the same time, she wondered.
She should soon go down to the restaurant with the food vouchers, she had received. She dreaded putting on her yesterday’s clothes. As her suitcase was being held somewhere at the airport, she had no choice.
She searched for a solitary table. Let’s see, what are they offering, she scanned the all you can eat buffet with a plate in her hand.
There wasn’t much to choose from, since most of the food was non-vegetarian. One would think that the Hilton would have a better kitchen. She picked up some salad, a little bit of cheese, an apple and a piece of bread. She returned to her table, when she noticed two young women heading toward her.
She recognized them from the plane.
She saw them while boarding in Madras. They flew business class, while she could afford only economy. Could they sit down? they asked politely. She smiled and said yes, even though she wished they wouldn‘t. The women were Indian, both of them wearing colorful punjabis. They struck up light conversation about the Hilton, about the burning tower, about the food.
One of the women was pregnant. Suddenly she leaned forward covering her mouth. The food splurged out between her little brown fingers, and it splashed on the white starched tablecloth. They both stood up,and profusely apologizing left the restaurant in a hurry. She lost her appetite and returned to her room too.
The little refrigerator in the hallway was full of miniature bottles. They must have expected Snow White with her seven dwarves, she thought.
She opened a few, poured their contents into the plastic cup provided by the hotel and chugged the mixture down. Lying on the bed, she sampled a few peanuts. She wished she could turn down the air conditioning a little. It was freezing in the room. She slipped under the cover, turned on the TV, and watched some movie in a foreign language she couldn’t understand.
There were many things she couldn't understand lately. Like, why did the behavior of her boyfriend change in the last year, or what was that girl doing in his apartment answering his phone in the morning when she called to inform him about the delay.
The water in the air conditioning was making gurgling sounds. Like a person cleaning his throat.
She dreamed of water, big water. She was swimming in it. She thought it was the ocean, the Indian Ocean, as she had seen it in Maha Bali Puram just the other week.
She knew when she dreamed of water it signaled illness for her. Why this was so, she couldn’t tell. The bigger and muddier the water was the more serious the illness would turn out to be.
She wanted to dream of her boyfriend as he used to be years ago, when he still loved her.
If you want to alter an unwanted state, just breath through the more congested nostril, Swara Yoga instructed. So easy, huh?
"My unwanted state," she thought.
She closed her eyes and visualized her boyfriend and herself hugging and kissing, and started sending love energy to the image, as she had learned in India from this lady who claimed to be a Reiki Master.
"Breathe into it," she was taught, "whatever is uncomfortable, just breathe into it". She used to breathe so heavily that she made herself dizzy. Yet, the problem didn’t go away.
Breathe, breathe, one two three one two three, breathe! Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Breathe!
"A person is born with a certain predetermined number of breaths", she had read. So, that’s why one has to work on slowing down the breath, so that life could be prolonged. Less breath, more life.
But you blew with your breath, and the sea covered them. They sank like lead in the mighty waters.
Moses’ song continued in her head.
She was intimidated by the water. Being a Pisces, she shouldn’t have been. She should have loved the water. She was a water sign.
And Yet, the water frightened her.
She would sink, like lead in the mighty waters, she thought.
Lead is toxic.She worked with lead pencils a lot. She liked to draw with lead pencils. And the Flake White, you can’t beat the Flake White for its luminosity. The Flake White contained lead too. Flake White makes the flesh shine.

"Breathe, breathe!"
No kissing, no kissing! Sticky cold saliva makes me vomit.
No kissing, no kissing, please! Close the eyes, shut them tight. No looking. No seeing. Who are you, who are you?
I don’t know. Who is he?
I don’t know.
Does anybody know this man on top of me?
One two three one two three,
how annoying, how annoying.
Not lubricating. The friction is painful. Somebody get him off of me, please!
I say nothing. Clench my teeth. He makes sounds.
I am silent, like a fish.
"Breathe, breathe!"
Tries to kiss me.
Licking my teeth. Sticking the tongue, the cold disgusting sticky tongue under my upper lip. My teeth are clenched.
No kissing, no kissing, please!
"You don’t like to kiss?"
"No."
Rubbing my chest.
"Breathe!"
Like I wont breathe if he doesn’t tell me to.
Jesus Christ, where am I?
I can’t go home, my boyfriend loves another one